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Published on 07 Mar 2014 | over 3 years ago

Shakira finally uncovers the truth about her weird relationship with Rihanna, and her weird singing voice.
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Written by Mark Douglas
Directed by Tom Small
Shakira/Rihanna voice: Tatiana Owens (@tatianaowens)

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Sonja Wajih- Shakira
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Bobbi Jo Kitchen- Rihanna
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Lyrics:
I sing like a goat
the frog in my throat
has lived there for years
And he makes me sing this way
I set up a bed
down by the steps
So when I run down stairs, I don't crash and smash my head
I really have to pee now
but I can not leave because
I'm waiting for Rihanna
Where is that ho?
This is our girls night
I sent her an evite
To have a slumber party party at my house.
Ohhh I'm very frio
I keep forgetting to put clothes on
Rock n' roll
guitar solo
I had to start a band with no one
The evil throat froggy
he put a curse on me now I must live in this big house alone
(texting on phone)
Hey Rihanna Where the hell are ya?
Don't piss me off or I'll unfriend you

[Rihanna enters ready for girls night]

RIHANNA
Sorry I'm late
I was harrassed at the gate
Your house is a maze
Don't know why you need all this space
We're smoking in bed
Bitchin' bout men
Our asses look great
but we can't find a decent mate
It really makes me feel bad
Got Issues with my dad
and it makes me date such assholes

SHAKIRA
Oh not again
Lets play a board game
Like Scatigories
and I will make us nachos nachos..
Where'd she go?
Oh Rihanna I think I lost ya

RIHANNA
I took a wrong turn at the bathroom
Hey Shakira I cannot hear ya

SHAKIRA
Just stay put my butt will find your butt.
Communicate with me
With ass telepathy

SHAKIRA AND RIHANNA
Now we're
Dry humping the dry wall

RIHANNA
Why can't I rebound
From stupid Chris Brown?

SHAKIRA
You keep forgetting he's an assclown

RIHANNA
I'd kill and I'd steal and I'd cheat on my taxes and french kiss a frog for that boy

SHAKIRA
Really?

RIHANNA
I'd eat a fart sandwich and lie down in traffic

SHAKIRA
But he battered you like a nerf toy
I have a solution a man substitution
Have you met my friend the bullfrog
Just reach down and kiss him
He'll become a prince and
He won't treat you like a lap dog

(The evil frog jumps from Shakira's throat into Rihanna's throat and now she sounds like Shakira)

RIHANNA
Oh oh oh no

SHAKIRA
(now with an operatic or musical theater voice)
Ha ha ha ha
Now the evil frog has cursed you

RIHANNA
What is that noise?

SHAKIRA
That's your new voice
And I sound the way I used to sound.

RIHANNA
How do I stop this hell
this vocal prison cell

SHAKIRA
You have to pass the curse to someone else.
Well this is goodbye
my hips don't lie

RIHANNA
You kind of sound like Julie Andrews
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