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The Key of Awesome
P.O. Box 30921 New York, NY 10011
I got dumped by Jake Gyllenhaal
So I bought this hipster voodoo doll
with a beard
I'm stabbing him right in his Gyllenballs
Still he won't return my calls Why?
I'm calling just to say that I've moved on
With my life
This'll be the last time that I call
Do you mind If I sleep on your lawn
I say I love you . We hates him. the precious, Smeagol
Ooooooooh One side of me gets the hint but
This side is ogidy ogidy ogidy
We were never ever ever actually together
Sweetie remember member member
smoking crack together
We ate chalk
and did bath salts
and had sex with a tree
Um We have never ever done any of that together
Like, we sort of did. My stuffed animals totally remember it.
Yeah, I remember that. Me too.
I swallowed a whole bottle of these pills
These voices in my head feel like a drill
He's telling me that we have to kill
your mom, but I can't seem to trigger this bomb. Darn
I can't hear you through the gag
Ohhhhhh looks like, I just needed new batteries
She can never ever ever be put back together
Now he will never ever ever give me back my sweater
I've moved on and soon I'm gonna be a Kennedy Yippee!
Their family curse gets worse and worse with every century
They got shot, his plane got lost
and this ones dating me.
If he ever dumped me ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever EVER
He will be dismembered