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Published on 04 Jan 2012 | over 5 years ago

1. Trueman and Aussie batsman
In an England v Australia Test during early 1960's Trueman was fielding close to the gate from the pavilion. As a new batsman came out he turned to shut the gate, Trueman said "Don't bother son, you won't be out there long enough."

2. Rod Marsh and Ian Botham.
When Botham took guard in a Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your wife and my kids?"

3. Daryll Cullinan and Shane Warne.
As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.

4. Adam Parore and Daryll Cullinan.
Because Cullinan is well known for being Warne's bunny, New Zealand keeper Parore greeted the South African, carefully playing the first ball from kiwi Chris Harris, with a cry of: "Bowled Warnie!"

5 . Robin Smith and Merv Hughes.
During 1989 Lords Test Hughes said to Smith after he played and missed: "You can't f***ing bat". Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't f***ing bat and you can't f***ing bowl."

6. Merv Hughes and Javed Miandad.
During 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed: "Tickets please", Merv called out
as he ran past the departing batsman.

7. Merv Hughes and Viv Richards.
During a test match in the West Indies Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say f*** off."

8. Ricky Ponting and Shaun Pollock.
After going past the outside edge with a couple of deliveries, Pollock told Ponting: "It's red, round and weighs about five ounces. "Unfortunately for Pollock, the next ball was hammered out of the ground. Ponting to Pollock: "you know what it looks like, now go find it."

9. And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's legendary comment which was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in Sydney... "You don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c***!!!"
(crow??)

10. In one of the tour matches in South Africa, Australia played Hansie Cronje's province. Cronje was at the non strikers end, there was a short chubby batsman on strike. Ian Healy yelled to Warne, (I think) "Bowl a Mars Bar half way down...We'll get him stumped" The Aussies and Cronje were all in hysterics. the batsman's retort: "Nah, Boonie fielding at short leg will be onto it before I can move."
11. Glen McGrath & Eddo Brandes
Glenn McGrath asked Eddo Brandes how come he was so fat. Brandes replied "because every time I fuck your wife she gives me a biscuit".

12. Glenn McGrath - What does Brian Lara's cock taste like?
Ramanesh Sarwan - I don't know ask your wife
Glenn McGrath - You mention my f*cking wife again and i'll rip your f*cking throat out!

13. Mark Waugh - I remember you from a couple of years ago in Australia, you were sh*t then and you're f*cking useless now.
Adam Parore - Yeah, that's me & when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly sl*t & now I hear you've married her. You dumb c*nt".

Music in this video is not owned by me. All rights to respective owners.

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