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Published on 02 Feb 2013 | over 4 years ago

1D's new director is giving them a lot more than just one direction...

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Lyrics!!

ZAYN
Oh I'm just tryin' to make it to the beauty
salon
Get out of my way I gotta get my nails done
Gonna get my eye brows threaded then
then I'll get
a funky skunky stripe put on my head

HARRY
Oh Peeka-peeka-boo where did I come from?
Looks like he gave birth to me from his skunk bum

LIAM
Hey fellas could you stop the bike up at the light
l think I'm feelin' motorcycle sick

DIRECTOR
You're not as cute
as these other two.
So let's just move you there
Now mince about, and act as though you're having fun

NIALL
He only gives us one
di rec tion

DIRECTOR
Now run from the waaaaaaaaaaaave.

ZAYN
I need more Hair Spraaaaaaaaay

LIAM
This wanker is a
sad old man

LOUIS
He's got us dressed like
old man bands

1D
Can we take a breaaaaaaaak

DIRECTOR
No bloody waaaaaay
Now put on your swimsuits

Spoken:
LIAM
Aw C'mon. We're quite pasty.
NIALL
We've yet to develop muscles

ZAYN
Oooh This one director won't ever let us leave

DIRECTOR
You can leave as soon as you hit puberty

ZAYN
Come on mate, its cold in here look over here
Harry's crying frozen tears.

LIAM
He's dead

NIALL
Well they tell us we're like Elvis back when he was a kid
I hope we don't die on the toilet like he did
Someone let me off the ride, I'm dying inside

DIRECTOR
This is the worlds smallest violin
Lets have you twoooo
Remove those sailor suits
and dress like prostitutes, yeah.

ZAYN
The saddest part is we're not getting
paid that much

LIAM
They never even buy us lunch
and that's not faaaaaaaaair

ZAYN
How is my HAAAAAIR?

DIRECTOR
Now put on these assless chaps
I bought them at the Assless Gap
Let's do 50 Shaaaaaaades
of Graaaaay
and let him hit you
Here's a tissue
I just tricked you
I made you sniff glue
Now let me fist you
Ha ha ha ha I'm just kidding
Just checking if you were listening
Let's go hillbiilly hand fishing

Now lets do the ending from Broke
Back Mountain

HARRY
I think I'm starting to have fun

DIRECTOR
Try to make him staaaaay
and that's when you say

HARRY AND LOUIS
I wish I could quit you.
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